Saving People, Hunting Things: The family Business
I don’t have “gender issues.”
I know what gender I am.
I am not trying to “change my gender.”
I am - and have been - this gender.
I’m trying to make you see it.
My first video with LGBTeens (LGBTv) on Transgender Stereotypes! Please watch the video, share the video, and comment on youtube! Next week I will be doing a question week. Leave questions in the comments and I will answer them next week in a video! =]
Yay!!
Within one to two weeks, I’ll be receiving my dick in a box~!
(I decided on the Mr. Right, even though it cost me nearly $60.00)
The Mango Pantstuff packer I was originally looking at is out the window.
I looked into it some more, and apparently, Mango is not reliable at all.
So I started looking into some more options, and I realized the Mango isn’t the most realistic looking one out there. I want something that looks and feels realistic, even if no one else is going to see it…I will still see it and feel it and touch it, and I want it to be right.
So these are what I’m looking at now -
Which one do you guys recommend?
I told my mom about my name and pronouns.
I sent her a text saying, “Just so you know…all of my friends know that I identify as transgendered…so they use male pronouns, and I also go by Danny or Daniel.”
Her response was, “Well, you are Kaitlin to me.”
I don’t want to go into any more detail about it than that.
I will say, though, that this was a better response than I expected.
I thought she was going to blow up.
I might be ordering a packer on Wedsday!
It is realistic and feels just like a flaccid penis.
It is made of some type of material that makes it keep your body temperature.
It will be 5 1/2”. I hope that size will work for me.
I want to be a “shower,” not a “grower.” lol.
It will cost me around $21…I’ll be taking this money out of my surgery box.
I feel as though I should let myself do this, because it is part of my transition…it is what will substitute for bottom surgery for me, because untill science is improved, I don’t want bottom surgery…but sometimes, I get really bad bottom dysphoria.
I will still have a substantial amount in my surgery box saved toward top surgery, though. This decision will just help me be a bit more comfortable untill then. I feel as though it will be a really good decision for me. I hate not having something inbetween my legs. I hate looking down and seeing folds of cloth.
And lord…is it wierd that I can’t wait to feel it and touch it?
I can’t wait to wear it.
It will take about 4 weeks delivery…hopefully sooner.
Once again, Angela is helping me out.
She is ordering it for me and buying it online, since I can’t, and then I will pay her back later in cash, whenever I get to see her next.
I love my best friend more than words describe.
Anonymous said:Oh, jeeze, lol. This is kind of an awkward question to be asked…
Guys, if you follow me and know me in person and happen to stumble across this, let’s just agree never to mention it, ok?
Anyway…
Well, sometimes…I have this thing where I seriously feel like I actually have a dick. I’ve come to find that it’s pretty common for transmen. I guess you could refer to it as a “phantom dick” or “phantom limb,” even though that usually has to do with people who are amputees, and frankly, I’m not.
Still, though, I sometimes get this sensation where I honestly feel like there is something in my pants. It usually happens when I’m turned on, and I feel like I’m hard or feel like there’s a bulge there.
Sometimes, if I’m laying in my boxers, I can feel it like it’s pressed up against my inner thigh or something. It’s kinda wierd. I try not to think too much about it.
So sometimes I can just pretend to stroke myself, and to me, it feels good, ‘cause I guess my mind thinks something is actually there and that I’m actually jerking off. In all honesty, though, I can’t get off like that because of the lack of stimulation, so for me, I have to apply pressure to the clit area. Pressure really does more for me than rubbing, but I guess there is a little rubbing involved (sometimes dry-humping works, lol). However, I’m rarely - if ever - comfortable with actually touching myself down there…because it feels so wierd. It makes me a little dysphoric, ‘cause my mind is like, “What? Why is that there? When did that get there? Oh, my gosh…That feels so wierd and disgusting. Ew.” So I have to do it with clothes on, otherwise, I’m kind of turned off.
Wow.
That was the most personal I’ve ever gotten in public on the internet. Lol. But really, I’m kind of an open book, so I don’t really mind. It’s just a tad bit embarrassing, because I often feel like there’s something wrong with me or that I’m wierd…but I know that I’m not. I’m not the only one who experiences this. And I feel like answering questions like this could help someone else who is going through the same thing. I also don’t mind trying to do my best to help educate on trans* issues or trans* topics…not that I’m an expert or anything. I always try to keep an open mind, though, and to see things from all angles. I’m always wanting to learn and gain more knowledge.
I hope this helps, and if you have further questions, don’t hesitate to ask. If they get too personal or too uncomfortable to me, I might ask you to let me private message you, but yeah…
There it is.
Angela bought me a real binder from Underworks, and it was exactly the one I wanted!! I was so excited that I shed two manly mists (they’re like tears, but they’re more manly because they don’t actually fall; they just evaporate into the air xD)! I couldn’t sit still; I was just squirming and squealing right in the middle of a public place while I opened the package she had sent to my school address.
I nearly immediately went to put it on, and it’s SOO much more comfortable than how I’ve been binding my chest. I also think it might work better. Either way, I’m so happy. It feels much better, and now I can’t stop trying on, like, every shirt I own!
I’ll make a post later with pictures, explaining how it works, etc. I’ll be experimenting with it to see what works best, and I’ll let you all know, just in case you’re wondering. :)
FOLLOW THIS LOVELY LADY, BECAUSE I’VE NEVER HAD A FRIEND THAT CARED ABOUT ME THIS MUCH!
Growing out my leg hair!
Things are going well still at college. I love GSU. I love college. I love my life. I’m happy. I’m satisfied…for the most part.
And Alexa and I are official now. She’s my girlfriend. I’m her boyfriend.
Oh, and…we kind of both have a boyfriend, too (for her, it’s another boyfriend)…Yeah, I’m in a polyamorous relationship now. It’s new. We’re still figuring it out. First time for everything. She’s my first girlfriend, and this is my first polyamorous relationship. He’s my first boyfriend since before I came out. His name is Andrew. We’re all bisexual/pansexual. We think it will work. We all like each other and are attracted to each other. We’re all pretty chill.
We want to make it work.
But you guys, Chemistry and American Government are kicking my ass.
I’m a little concerned. You can ask my friends, and they’ll all tell you I’ve been stressing.
It’s been hard for me to eat and sleep lately, because I’ve been really stressed and homesick. I’m stressed about school, family, friends, relationships, my trans* stuff, and just life on my own, in general. And I’m homesick for my sisters, my mom, my friends, my dad, my bed, my dog, and my cat. I miss them all so much. It makes me really sad, and sometimes, when I’m laying in bed at night by myself during the week, it just hits me…and I start thinking about how much I just…miss it all.
But one thing I don’t miss is the lack of freedom. I like my freedom.
I don’t want it taken away from me.
So I need to keep my grades up. I need to make A’s. I need a high GPA. I need to stay in college. I need to get a job and start supporting myself on my own…
There’s so much to worry about…
So much to do…
It’s kind of hard to keep up with it all, especially now that I’m in a relationship…
But I’m doing it.
I’ll be fine.
I’ll be ok.
It’ll all be ok.
It’s gonna work out.
It’s gonna be fine.
I’ll be fine.
I’m strong.
I’m smart.
I can do this.
I can do this.
I can do this.
I can do this.
I can do this.
I can do this.
I can do this.
Anonymous said:No, because I am not a transvestite.
I am a transsexual/transgendered person. I am a transman.
Transvestite (According to Google!Define): “A person, typically a man, who derives pleasure from dressing in clothes appropriate to the opposite sex.”
(Keeping in mind there are more genders than just “male” or “female,” and clothes shouldn’t be gendered. You can also be neither gender, if you prefer.)
Just because you don’t understand me does not give you the right to tell me I am stupid or use incorrect pronouns with me. It’s extremely disrespectful.
Woah, you guys. Look at me in college. :) I’m glad to have made it so far.
Go Eagles!
