Saving People, Hunting Things: The family Business
I don’t have “gender issues.”
I know what gender I am.
I am not trying to “change my gender.”
I am - and have been - this gender.
I’m trying to make you see it.
Anonymous said:Oh, jeeze, lol. This is kind of an awkward question to be asked…
Guys, if you follow me and know me in person and happen to stumble across this, let’s just agree never to mention it, ok?
Anyway…
Well, sometimes…I have this thing where I seriously feel like I actually have a dick. I’ve come to find that it’s pretty common for transmen. I guess you could refer to it as a “phantom dick” or “phantom limb,” even though that usually has to do with people who are amputees, and frankly, I’m not.
Still, though, I sometimes get this sensation where I honestly feel like there is something in my pants. It usually happens when I’m turned on, and I feel like I’m hard or feel like there’s a bulge there.
Sometimes, if I’m laying in my boxers, I can feel it like it’s pressed up against my inner thigh or something. It’s kinda wierd. I try not to think too much about it.
So sometimes I can just pretend to stroke myself, and to me, it feels good, ‘cause I guess my mind thinks something is actually there and that I’m actually jerking off. In all honesty, though, I can’t get off like that because of the lack of stimulation, so for me, I have to apply pressure to the clit area. Pressure really does more for me than rubbing, but I guess there is a little rubbing involved (sometimes dry-humping works, lol). However, I’m rarely - if ever - comfortable with actually touching myself down there…because it feels so wierd. It makes me a little dysphoric, ‘cause my mind is like, “What? Why is that there? When did that get there? Oh, my gosh…That feels so wierd and disgusting. Ew.” So I have to do it with clothes on, otherwise, I’m kind of turned off.
Wow.
That was the most personal I’ve ever gotten in public on the internet. Lol. But really, I’m kind of an open book, so I don’t really mind. It’s just a tad bit embarrassing, because I often feel like there’s something wrong with me or that I’m wierd…but I know that I’m not. I’m not the only one who experiences this. And I feel like answering questions like this could help someone else who is going through the same thing. I also don’t mind trying to do my best to help educate on trans* issues or trans* topics…not that I’m an expert or anything. I always try to keep an open mind, though, and to see things from all angles. I’m always wanting to learn and gain more knowledge.
I hope this helps, and if you have further questions, don’t hesitate to ask. If they get too personal or too uncomfortable to me, I might ask you to let me private message you, but yeah…
There it is.
We are no longer classified as mentally ill. That label was removed from us by the DSM-5.
Anonymous said:No, because I am not a transvestite.
I am a transsexual/transgendered person. I am a transman.
Transvestite (According to Google!Define): “A person, typically a man, who derives pleasure from dressing in clothes appropriate to the opposite sex.”
(Keeping in mind there are more genders than just “male” or “female,” and clothes shouldn’t be gendered. You can also be neither gender, if you prefer.)
There has to be some kind of balance.
We have to all work together if we hope to achieve harmony.It is important to keep communication open and civil. If a Cis person does or says something you don’t like, calmly explain to them why you don’t like it and how they can fix it. A lot of Cis people will be happy to oblige.
Granted, we have to be willing to give a little slack, too. If we want them to do things for us, then we have to do things for them; likewise, if we want them to include us, then we have to include them.That being said, it’s important to take care of ourselves, too. So if the Cis person refuses to try to work things out with you and refuses to - for example - stop calling you a “faggot,” then you should, of course, stay away from them and have nothing to do with them.
But trying to make the world receive us lovingly and then going around yelling “ALL CIS PEOPLE ARE SUCH SCUM. THEY NEED TO JUST STOP. UGH. I HATE THEM,” is definitely not getting the right message across. How can they love us when we do to them exactly what we accuse them of doing to us?
“Treat others the way you want to be treated.”
“Defeat your enemies with love.”Just some thoughts.
~Daniel
LGBTQ* Infographic / Law Graphics You Should See
This protection applies to Federal jobs/employments. One can still be fired in 34 states by private/state jobs for being Trans*.
Want to know more? Read Cornell Journal of Law’s article HERE.
Mia Macy and her wife, Trish (via MetroWeekly.com)
Dear Trans People: DTP-The idea of a “fluid” gender system is a load of crap, and I’d…
DTP-
The idea of a “fluid” gender system is a load of crap, and I’d imagine that anybody who preaches about it knows it themselves. Not only are gender and sex both words for the same thing (NOT seperate words with seperate definitions; I can crack open a dictionary and figure out that’s false…
OK, you’re a douche. Do I need to explain why you’re a douche?
1) Gender and sex ARE two different words with two different definitions, gender is in your brain, your identity, and there is proof brains have genders, as you stated transgender people have the brain chemistry of the opposite sex. Actually, here’s a male and female brain in terms of grey and white matter:
As you can see, the brains are different. As for the hormones in the womb, transgender people receive the hormones of the opposite sex.
Sex is only what lays between your legs, whether you’re XY or XX, it means nothing, your gender, gender expression, and sexuality are all different things.
2) OK, wtf with this “(and not just a teenage white girl on Tumblr trying to fit in with the “trans crowd”)” and “if you’re an actual transgender and not just some teenage girl on Tumblr saying you are to try and act cool”. Yep cos everyone wants to be in the trans* crowd, god being transgender is sooo fun!! I mean everyone’s pretending to be a tranny nowdays, everyone wants to be trans*!!!! BEING A TRANNY IS SOOOO COOL OMG!!111!!!1!!!11!!
3) I’m sorry, since when is me “hack[ing] up your[my] genitals into a crude fascimile of the tools of the opposite sex” stupid and radical? It’s what I need to do to be alive, do you think I like it? And if you knew the first thing you’d know the surgeries are really, really good looks wise.
4) “At its base, GID is a mental illness- not a life-threatening one, not one that would usually tamper with your day-to-day life, but due to being a radical deviation from the normal human thinking of “I am a male because I possess a wang”, a mental illness none-the-less.” WHAT’S BETWEEN YOUR LEGS DOES NOT DEFINE YOUR GENDER. OMFG. How many times must I go over this? You are not male/female because you have a penis/vagina. That is only your sex, what makes you male or female is in your head. Cisgender people’s sex and gender match, as it should, but things get mixed up in the womb sometimes. Transgender people are no less male or female than cis people.
5) “Seek therapeutic help. Talking it out with someone that has a knowledge of such disorders will help tremendously. Surrounding yourself with like-minded people on Tumblr will not.” Tumblr is a great support network for trans* people, and it has helped me a lot. But thank you, I am talking to someone about it, and they will help me become male cos they know that’s what I am. They know the proper and only cure is hormone therapy (Hrt) and surgeries.
6) “try and iron out your problems before you do anything radical like preach about transgender oppression” Omg guys stop trying to get equal rights and human rights, it’s so preachy omg stop!!!!111!!!11!!!1!!! It’s so radical you don’t know what you’re getting into!!1!!!11!!!1!!11! I mean it’s not like every 72 hours a trans* person is murdered, god!
7) “Do not attempt to justify your GID by preaching silly things such as the existence of a fluid gender system or the evils of the “gender binary”.”
BREAKING NEWS!!
gender is fluid! How do we know this? Well let’s leave out the science of how and just say, because there are cis people, drag queens/kings, crossdressers, transgender people, genderqueer people, agender people, pangender people, androgynous people, I could go on! Yay, fluidity in gender :D
8) “It is classified as a disorder because around one-half of a percent of the total world population has it, and if you actually feel any form of stress or feel discomfort with yourself then you should refer to the previous line.” Oh so cos something’s rare it becomes an illness rather than just a developmental mistake? Would you call homosexuality an illness? Would you call having heterochromia an illness?
9) “I am not telling you to be ashamed of it, I am telling you to seek help before you do something stupid.” Yeah, you’re right, we should get help to become the right sex before we do something stupid like kill ourselves, which is rare given 80% of transsexuals have tried to kill themselves before they’re 20 and 98.5% self harm on a regular basis.
In case of TL;DR:
(also, just to add, you’re kinda racist&sexist specifying the skin colour&sex of the people apparently who pretend to be trans*)
THIS ^
I was so pissed when I read that OP. Woow. People are so ignorant.
Just because you’re not okay with my identity, that doesn’t give you the right to pretend I never came out to you. We live together. Are you not aware of how uncomfortable that makes every interaction we have?
You seem to think that just because I’m “young” that I haven’t thought this through, but I have to live every day thinking about how I’m misgendered and disrespected. I have to live every day knowing that when I look in a mirror I won’t like what I see. You seriously think I haven’t thought about it? When you’re stuck in a wrong body, call me and tell me how little you think about changing it. Until then, please shut up and let me do what I want with my own body.
meeee, tooooo *cries more*
Warren Evans, an openly bisexual student at Calvert High School, was suspended for wearing a skirt, [allegedly] violating the school’s dress code.
Evans says the school is discriminating against him and does not believe he violated any dress code.
“I don’t think so. Why not? It didn’t say anywhere in the code of conduct or dress code that says boys can’t dress like girls,” Evans commented.
The school district’s dress code policy states schools can regulate dress or even hair lengths.
Students at the school told News4’s Shomari Stone that female students wear skirts of the same length that Evans wore, but they were not suspended.
School officials will not comment on the suspension. They did say the dress code applies to all students, regardless of gender.
Public schools being used for taxpayer-sponsored gender policing. Just warms your heart, don’t it?
FUCK THEM WARREN YOU LOOK GREAT
One rad dude.
Dress code or moral discomfort of teaching staff?
“Uhhhhhh boys like, don’t dress like that.. so.. he shouldn’t be allowed to dress like that!” Why? because it makes you fucking uncomfortable?
*rolls eyes*
I think he looks fabulous. He pulls off that outfit spectacularly.
![transparrotfish:
[Image description: Background is 8 piece pie style color split with black and blue alternating. Foreground is a photo of a parrotfish. Top text reads “GET ALMOST PERFECT HAIRCUT”. Bottom text reads “NO SIDEBURNS”. End description.]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4wlvrIsRO1qkevm9o1_400.jpg)
[Image description: Background is 8 piece pie style color split with black and blue alternating. Foreground is a photo of a parrotfish. Top text reads “GET ALMOST PERFECT HAIRCUT”. Bottom text reads “NO SIDEBURNS”. End description.]
I did not have fun at prom.
I thought I would be fine, but I wasn’t.
Basically, I felt really uncomfortable with my identity, and I suffered a lot of dysphoria because of my appearance and such.
Since I hadn’t really realized who I was or start coming out or anything of the sort untill recently, my mom and I had already purchased a prom dress, etc. Not to mention, with how things are going with her, it would have been impossible for me to have requested wearing a tux, anyway.
She can’t accept that I want to wear guy clothes and might be bisexual, much less that I am a dude.
So yeah…I went and had to get my hair done, since it was still long. I just told my hairdresser, “Look…I don’t care what it looks like, so if there’s something you’ve been wanting to try, go for it.” So she did a simple updo that she said she had wanted to try ever since her friend got it done for a wedding. I was ok with it.
Then I came out to my hairdresser. She was cool with it, and she said she wouldn’t mind it that when I came in next, I would be requesting a male haircut. It was awesome, and I was happy that she was accepting.
After getting my hair done, I went over to my friend Brandon’s house. I was carpooling with him, his foreign exchange student, and his girlfriend, Laney. They’re all close friends of mine.
Anyway, we hung out for a bit while we waited for Laney to get there. Tim, the foreign exchange student, had already left with his girlfriend, so it turned out to be just me, Brandon, and Laney.
Brandon’s mom helped me put on my dress, and I actually had a really good conversation with her. She already knew about me, but I came out personally to her, and we talked about it. She was very understanding and offered some good advice about just being me, etc. I’m not the first LGBTQ person she has known, so she’s very comfortable with it. In fact, I’m fully welcomed in her house as Daniel. She, Brandon, Tim, and Laney all refer to me by my preferred name and pronouns. It really makes me feel at home, and I’ve been spending more time over there than I have been at my own home.
Brandon’s mom even started referring to me as “him” after that, even though I had to wear a dress and go to Prom as a girl (by the way, I didn’t put on any makeup, I still wore my boxers, and I wore flip-flops. FTW). When telling Brandon to take a picture with me when he was reluctant to be in the pictures, she said, “Get in there and take a picture with him.” It made me smile. It made me happy.
That was the last time I felt comfortable with my identity that night.
We all crammed into Brandon’s old mustang, and then we were on our way to the Cajun restaurant we were meeting our friends at. Dinner wasn’t so bad. I actually had a good time, but I still felt uncomfortable, and I had a few down moments that I kept to myself.
One funny moment was when I managed to crawl out of the back of Brandon’s mustang with my big poofy dress. I had to rearrange it, and I didn’t think twice about fixating my boobs correctly in public. All of our friends saw me through the windows of the restaurant, and when we got to the table, they all mimicked me spontaneously. It was pretty embarrassing but also funny.
Prom was ok at first. I danced and had a decent time, but then I started to realize just how badly I wanted to be in a tux and ask pretty girls to dance with me. It also sucked when I couldn’t dance with this one girl I’m infatuated with. I kinda wanted to cry a bit, and it made me feel anxious and uncomfortable. I got a headache and started having trouble breathing, and I didn’t want to bring anybody else down, so I went off to the side and sat on one of the couches. I guess people thought I was being a wall flower, but I just didn’t want to participate. I wasn’t in the mood, anymore. I really wanted everyone else to have a fantastic night, though, so I tried to keep my negativity to myself. I might not have completely succeeded.
Needless to say, I was really happy when it came time to leave. I practically bolted out of there as fast as I could, and when we got back to Brandon’s car, he let me change into his BDU’s, which felt much more comfortable.
Then we went to a relay for life thing before going home for the night.
*
I don’t know, you guys…
It’s wierd.
I mean, I do have my moments where I really enjoy “playing dressup.” I think that comes with being a somewhat gay or masculine male.
But at the moment, all of those dressup desires are disappearing…I think there will be a time when they come back, but for now, I so desperately want to be out and accepted and comfortable as a transman that I think I’m psychologically separating my femininity from my masculinity as an effort to really come out…I hope that makes sense.
You don’t, you just don’t. You never have to worry about them calling you the wrong name, and the wrong pronouns. You never have to worry about dying, and having the wrong name on your tombstone.
